I've already mentioned how new technology can really shoot you in the foot when dating someone. But it can also act like a knife in the heart when you're going through a break up. I should know. I watched my ex get over me and move on with the access to MySpace. It's been almost two years and not something I really like to think about or choose to focus on, but this weekend it came back clearly to me with the heartbreak of a girlfriend and Facebook, and a new Twitter contact and his revenge website.
About 3 years ago I met a guy, had an instant connection with him but because he had a girlfriend all we became were friends. Very good friends. Over a six month period I grew closer to him and inevitably fell in love with him. How I wish I never fell in love with him. Anyway, fast forward to him being single and we were finally able to be together, date, whatever you wanna call it. Three months into it after a Christmas, New Years and Valentine's Day I got dumped on St. Patrick's Day. Like I already didn't need a reason to drink on that holiday! He gave me the reasoning that he didn't want to have a girlfriend after being in a relationship for 2 years. Broke my heart but at the same time I could understand that reasoning. I felt the same way after I got out of a 2 1/2 year relationship.
But BIG surprise, 3 weeks later he was back with his ex and I saw it all go down over MySpace. Messages to each other. New pictures of them being out. Knowing when they had gone out to dinner. Everytime I signed online and went to his page it was like a giant knife stabbing me in the heart everytime. But of course I continued to sign on and look at his page. Apparently I hadn't hurt myself enough the day before. It took me much longer to get over him because of goddamn MySpace.
This past weekend my girlfriend discovered some not so pleasant information about her ex. The way I found out was that she had posted it all over her Facebook page. I completely understand this thinking...he's hurt you so badly that you want to retaliate and post it for the world to see what an asshole he is.
But her actions aren't nearly as bad as what I encountered next...
I also received a new Twitter follower contact this weekend from a "ChrisAngry." When I went to view his page I followed a link to a website bashing his ex-girlfriend who apparently cheated on him and left him for his best friend. OUCH! On the website he's put a bunch of naked and private photos of his ex that I assume they took when together. As if Paris Hilton 4 years ago didn't prove to us enough the idea of taking racy photos or making a sex tape with someone isn't a good idea! When someone gets hurt, that act of love will come right back around and bite you in the ass.
I went back to my girlfriend's Facebook page the next day and she had taken down all the messages and status updates about how shitty her ex was. I know how hurt she is, but I'm also so proud of her for taking it down because I know she's better than that. When we get our hearts broken we want to retaliate in anyway we can. And new technology allows us to share it with the world. But here's the reality...it doesn't help anything. Maybe he'll see it and feel bad, but remember he made his choice and is happy cus he got everything he wanted...whether he feels bad for you or not.
It hurts more than anything else, but we somehow have to find the will power not to check MySpace when we've been dumped, resist shooting our anger out over our status updates, and resist creating a revenge website (hopefully this one is A LOT easier for us to resist). Because although it may relieve some anger or hurt temporarily, more often than not it makes us look like pathetic idiots!
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