Better in 2009

Every year I make a new year resolution...which more often than not I break within the first two months. One year I made a resolution to drink more water. This was one resolution I managed to stick with but only because it might be the easiest resolution. But I'm realizing that even if I make the resolution to go to the gym (have just gone for the first time in almost 8 months this week), or the drink less (yeah right), or even to run a marathon (hahaha)...I know I won't keep any of them.

So I think it's not so much the resolution but how you start the new year off. And that's why I think I'm destined for something great to happen in 2009...because I'm starting it completely differently than any previous year.

How this New Years is different:

1. I'm single! 100% single! This is the first time in 7 years that I haven't had someone to kiss on New Years Eve. For a girl who has only had really one long-term serious relationship, I apparently always seem to be dating someone at New Years. This year I have no special someone to kiss - which leaves the door open to meeting someone new. I also don't have the stress of finding something spectacular to do because it's New Years Eve. Plan to work till 10pm and then will probably grab a bottle of champagne and let that be the end of it. Sounds fantastic!

2. I don't have a job I hate! Best birthday present I received this year was one I gave myself. I quit a job I was miserable in and although the economy has been cruel, I'm still so happy I did it. So that means that 2009 is going to bring me the job that I love and builds my career.

3. These days I choose to surround myself with positive people. People who don't feel the need to talk about you as soon as you turn your back. I was a miserable person for so long and realized a lot of it had to do with the people I surrounded myself with. People who are nothing but negative and snide bring nothing but a miserable attitude and existence to those around them. A better start to 2009 is that I know this now and won't have the drama that last New Years began with.

4. I'm thinner! About 5-10 pounds less than I was last year. Not sure really what that means...but I guess if I set a goal weight it would be easier to achieve this year :) Or it's probably just the female vanity of being thinner and healthier.

5. I'm a blond instead of brunette! I'm pretty sure this was the main jinx of last year! hahaha

How are you starting this year off?

Best of luck to all. Here's to a fantastic 2009!!

Potential to stay real

I met Demi Lovato at the Chevy Rocks The Future event I worked last year along with Selena Gomez, the Jonas Brothers and other Disney Stars. She was adorably real and sweet. Hopefully she has the potential to stay that way. Love this new song and video.

Demi, please stay this way for all the other real girls in LaLa Land!

A New Age Break Up...for everyone to see

I've already mentioned how new technology can really shoot you in the foot when dating someone. But it can also act like a knife in the heart when you're going through a break up. I should know. I watched my ex get over me and move on with the access to MySpace. It's been almost two years and not something I really like to think about or choose to focus on, but this weekend it came back clearly to me with the heartbreak of a girlfriend and Facebook, and a new Twitter contact and his revenge website.

About 3 years ago I met a guy, had an instant connection with him but because he had a girlfriend all we became were friends. Very good friends. Over a six month period I grew closer to him and inevitably fell in love with him. How I wish I never fell in love with him. Anyway, fast forward to him being single and we were finally able to be together, date, whatever you wanna call it. Three months into it after a Christmas, New Years and Valentine's Day I got dumped on St. Patrick's Day. Like I already didn't need a reason to drink on that holiday! He gave me the reasoning that he didn't want to have a girlfriend after being in a relationship for 2 years. Broke my heart but at the same time I could understand that reasoning. I felt the same way after I got out of a 2 1/2 year relationship.

But BIG surprise, 3 weeks later he was back with his ex and I saw it all go down over MySpace. Messages to each other. New pictures of them being out. Knowing when they had gone out to dinner. Everytime I signed online and went to his page it was like a giant knife stabbing me in the heart everytime. But of course I continued to sign on and look at his page. Apparently I hadn't hurt myself enough the day before. It took me much longer to get over him because of goddamn MySpace.

This past weekend my girlfriend discovered some not so pleasant information about her ex. The way I found out was that she had posted it all over her Facebook page. I completely understand this thinking...he's hurt you so badly that you want to retaliate and post it for the world to see what an asshole he is.

But her actions aren't nearly as bad as what I encountered next...

I also received a new Twitter follower contact this weekend from a "ChrisAngry." When I went to view his page I followed a link to a website bashing his ex-girlfriend who apparently cheated on him and left him for his best friend. OUCH! On the website he's put a bunch of naked and private photos of his ex that I assume they took when together. As if Paris Hilton 4 years ago didn't prove to us enough the idea of taking racy photos or making a sex tape with someone isn't a good idea! When someone gets hurt, that act of love will come right back around and bite you in the ass.

I went back to my girlfriend's Facebook page the next day and she had taken down all the messages and status updates about how shitty her ex was. I know how hurt she is, but I'm also so proud of her for taking it down because I know she's better than that. When we get our hearts broken we want to retaliate in anyway we can. And new technology allows us to share it with the world. But here's the reality...it doesn't help anything. Maybe he'll see it and feel bad, but remember he made his choice and is happy cus he got everything he wanted...whether he feels bad for you or not.

It hurts more than anything else, but we somehow have to find the will power not to check MySpace when we've been dumped, resist shooting our anger out over our status updates, and resist creating a revenge website (hopefully this one is A LOT easier for us to resist). Because although it may relieve some anger or hurt temporarily, more often than not it makes us look like pathetic idiots!

A Poor Man's Happiness

When I decided to quit my job back in August and leave the "prestigious PR firm" I had worked at for almost two years, most people thought I was crazy to leave without another job lined up. Co-workers, my new roommate, and even random people I met thought I should stick it out until I landed something else. I mean who quits a job in this economy, right?

Well obviously they were thinking the same thing I had for the past 3 years of my career...find a job and stick it out. Gotta pay the rent somehow.

But is this really how we live our lives? Working just to pay the rent even if it makes us miserable and unhappy?

Look at how life plays out - as children we work our butts off to get good grades and get into the right college. From there we pick the right major and do internships every summer to get the right job directly out of college. Then we spend the next 30 years of our lives climbing the ladder, trying to make more money to get the nice new BMW series and the big house in the right neighborhood, and continue to save up for retirement. So what do we do with retirement? Use all the money we've worked our whole lives to get to travel the world on one of those senior citizen cruises and then be able to pick our grandkids up from school.

This is the ultimate structure in our career lives...work all our lives to save up and stop working.

But what if we like working and keeping active? I don't mind working when the work is something I love. I loved volleyball and played my whole life, but I didn't have the talent of Kerri Walsh, or maybe it was just the dedication. Ball players become engrossed in these million dollar contract deals and the whole production of it all, but they got into the sport originally because they loved to play. Really what professional baseball or basketball player took a job just because it's the only thing they could land to pay the rent?

Also, I know I won't retire at 60. Hell I'll probably have just gotten started on a new project. And sure I want to travel and see the world, but I want to do it while I'm still young enough to hike up mountains and have the energy to see every inch of it. So if I don't want to follow the "structure" why should I be stuck in a job that makes me miserable?!

I won't go into the details of what finally made me leave...the last straw per se. For those who were there for the last few weeks you know what it was like and how miserable I was. I spent a lot of time on the phone with my mother and getting her approval...she paid for all my education on her own and has helped me monetarily while I'm still trying to get steady on my feet - I felt I owed it to her to ask for her approval and make her proud. But the one thing my mother stuck by was telling me to "do what's going to make you the most happy."

And that was it. I turned in my letter of resignation the next day.

Now I've basically been unemployed for three months, minus the part-time at a restaurant and a couple temporary gigs I've landed. I've been on a bunch of interviews and was even turned down because I was "too overqualified" - no joke. And on most of the interviews I've gotten the same question..."Why did you leave?" And it's funny how I can tell the quality of people and the company just by their response. The people who are shocked that I left for myself or just because I wanted something new want another answer, don't even believe me or give a disappointed look on their faces. Then those who have congratulated me on making such a bold move, respect me for doing it and say they can empathize - those are the people I want to work for. They get it. They're human. They're not corporate lemmings.

The past three months have been incredibly hard with the economy as it is. I've barely been able to make rent. I constantly stress about my credit rating and bills. And I am always wondering if there is any hope on the horizon. But every time I talk to my mom on the phone as she tries to calm my nerves and reassure me, she always asks the same thing - "But Meg, are you still happy you quit? Aren't you a happier person now?" And my response is ALWAYS "Yes!" And every time I answer I let go a big exhale and realize that all this stress is worth it. I wouldn't trade anything I've gone through in the past three months to be back working at that firm.

I made the best decision for me that I could. And every time a recruiter calls with a position, I really think about whether it's something I want. For those who can respect that, thank you. For those who think I'm still nuts for quitting, so be it. But it's my life, not yours. I will take a poor man's happiness over a rich man's wealth any day.

The Drunk Text

I really think dating must have been so much easier about 15 years ago. Why? Because technology hadn't invented contraptions for us to act like idiots when we've been drinking. The drunk dial was my worst enemy back in college. And having a boyfriend at Brown when I was in Boston, the late night drunken calls were frequent and the fights ensued. Sure drinking allows us to rid ourselves of our inhibitions and say what we really want to say, but sometimes that's not a good thing. Actually most brilliant ideas when we're drinking are more often than not a horrible idea sober.

But now it's gotten even worse with the birth of Blackberrys and iPhones. Texting is usually the first thing we go for and it's the worst because when we wake up sober we can reread how stupid we've been. The best ones are when you, yourself can't even understand what was written because the drunken fingers have slipped to the wrong keys. I can't even text on an iPhone sober...how the hell are you supposed to manage after a few drinks?

But besides texting we not only also have access to email, but we can Facebook and MySpace from our phones.

DANGER! DANGER!

Can we even cover the amount of humiliation that comes from a drunk Facebook or MySpace post? Not only do you get to reread your foolishness, but so do his 300 friends!! I've done this before and God help me I don't know how many people read it before I got on there the next day and deleted it from his wall.

Instead of making new applications to communicate with people, someone should develop a Drunk Text Prevention application. There should be an option within your address book to group someone into the Drunk Text Prevention category. Then after a certain hour no calls, texts or any sort of communication are allowed with that contact. Genius, right?!

Unfortunately that does not solve drunk texting when day drinking. Oh the joys of day drinking. That's when you need your friends to strip you of your phone and put you back to the Stone Age without any communication. And why is it that afterwards we're all yelling at ourselves that we should have known better. Because we all know that when we're doing it we really shouldn't be.

If you are asking your friends if you should text him, you shouldn't be texting him. If you're trying to reword the text so it doesn't make you sound desperate, you shouldn't be texting him. If he hasn't texted you, you shouldn't be texting him.

This past weekend I've been to more birthday parties than I can remember. And of course alcohol was involved in all. Even the day birthday shenanigans at La Cienega Park. The day drinking impaired my judgment to make me think "Oh he really does want to talk to me so I should go ahead and text him." No he doesn't! So when I awoke from my daytime drinking nap I discovered the text and what else...obviously no text in reply from him.

First off the text was maybe two lines...that I spent 5 minutes trying to "word correctly." I knew I shouldn't be texting him, but the little beer devil on my shoulder told me otherwise. After consultation with my much wiser friend this morning I came to this conclusion...permanently delete his phone number.

So the phone number is gone but the shame remains.

Insufficient Funds

Rock 'n Roll Ralph's is one of my favorite places. Why it's more special than any other Ralph's I don't know but I think everyone else who shops there feels the same way. After spending about 30 minutes in the store trying to figure out what to eat, pausing in the middle of the aisles to text Keith, and a good 10 minutes in the beer aisle trying to figure out what kind to get (ultimately deciding on Shiner Bock referred by my proud Texan friend Keith) I finally headed to the check out stand.

With milk, sushi and beer (I know...30 minutes and that's what I came up with) my total rang in at $22.83. Swiped my debit card and waited for authorization...and then got the dreaded phrase across the screen "Not Authorized." Thinking there was some mistake I went to the ATM and got an even worse message "Insufficient Funds"...ugh!! As a 26 year-old jobless (well full-time PR) girl living in LA during a crappy economy, this is the phrase I fear the most.

Not only is my stomach in knots because I just realized I don't have enough money even for milk, it's so embarrassing to be in the checkout line and have to ask the checker to cancel the sale and put all the food back.

"Hey everyone, look at the pathetic girl in line that can't even buy milk!"

Last night was not pleasant.

Fast forward to this afternoon...I was lucky enough to land a temporary gig this week with a movie production company as an assistant and to take charge of the company's PR. My amazing boss wrote me a check for my hours thus far and an advance on the rest of the week so I could deposit money into my account.

Can I just say how AWESOME it was buying lunch today :) Something so small we often take for granted. Let's just hope this job turns into something permanent so I can buy milk when I need it!

Childhood Dreams

I can't claim to be the only female in Los Angeles stuck in the Hollywood Bubble...for there are many. Proof are these lovely ladies to the left (and to my right in the photo)...none of them are actresses or struggling actresses. One is a dentist, another works for a high class jeweler and another is project manager for an online political non-profit. I'll let you guess which is which.

Don't get me wrong about people out there trying to fulfill their long life dream of becoming an actor. My roommate is a struggling actress, attends acting class weekly and works at a restaurant to pay the bills. I know she wants it...but my bigger question if she wants the profession or the lifestyle?

It is a fun and outrageous lifestyle sometimes - I have celeb friends and have done some pretty amazing things with them...because of them. But I know I could never live my life that way. I want the 9am - 6pm job. I want my weekends free to do errands, go out with friends and watch Sunday football. I want to have a 401K and health insurance. I want security. I want the plan I've had set in my mind since high school...go to college, get a good job, move up the ladder, get married, have kids, and then juggle soccer practices and ballet recitals with a full-time job. I want that challenge.

So what do the actors see as their plan? When do they settle down and have kids? Do they ever settle down and have kids? I have friends in their mid-30s that are still trying to make it - they're single and nothing has changed in their behavior as a member of the male species since they were the horny boys in college. What were their dreams? Their lifelong plan? Partying till the wee hours of the morning, snorting and doing God knows what, starving themselves to ignore that extra 10 pounds the camera adds, and then of course ignoring the big ego they've conjured?

I don't understand it and definitely would never wish for it. But this is the large percentage of people in LA...and one of the ways I'm constantly stuck within this Hollywood Bubble...it's all around me wherever I go. But these lovely ladies (and their handsome career men) allow me to break the bubble if even for a few hours where we sit and talk about a long day at work, the project due on Monday morning and the wedding plans at The London.

Call me what you want but I like being that girl.