The Drunk Text

I really think dating must have been so much easier about 15 years ago. Why? Because technology hadn't invented contraptions for us to act like idiots when we've been drinking. The drunk dial was my worst enemy back in college. And having a boyfriend at Brown when I was in Boston, the late night drunken calls were frequent and the fights ensued. Sure drinking allows us to rid ourselves of our inhibitions and say what we really want to say, but sometimes that's not a good thing. Actually most brilliant ideas when we're drinking are more often than not a horrible idea sober.

But now it's gotten even worse with the birth of Blackberrys and iPhones. Texting is usually the first thing we go for and it's the worst because when we wake up sober we can reread how stupid we've been. The best ones are when you, yourself can't even understand what was written because the drunken fingers have slipped to the wrong keys. I can't even text on an iPhone sober...how the hell are you supposed to manage after a few drinks?

But besides texting we not only also have access to email, but we can Facebook and MySpace from our phones.

DANGER! DANGER!

Can we even cover the amount of humiliation that comes from a drunk Facebook or MySpace post? Not only do you get to reread your foolishness, but so do his 300 friends!! I've done this before and God help me I don't know how many people read it before I got on there the next day and deleted it from his wall.

Instead of making new applications to communicate with people, someone should develop a Drunk Text Prevention application. There should be an option within your address book to group someone into the Drunk Text Prevention category. Then after a certain hour no calls, texts or any sort of communication are allowed with that contact. Genius, right?!

Unfortunately that does not solve drunk texting when day drinking. Oh the joys of day drinking. That's when you need your friends to strip you of your phone and put you back to the Stone Age without any communication. And why is it that afterwards we're all yelling at ourselves that we should have known better. Because we all know that when we're doing it we really shouldn't be.

If you are asking your friends if you should text him, you shouldn't be texting him. If you're trying to reword the text so it doesn't make you sound desperate, you shouldn't be texting him. If he hasn't texted you, you shouldn't be texting him.

This past weekend I've been to more birthday parties than I can remember. And of course alcohol was involved in all. Even the day birthday shenanigans at La Cienega Park. The day drinking impaired my judgment to make me think "Oh he really does want to talk to me so I should go ahead and text him." No he doesn't! So when I awoke from my daytime drinking nap I discovered the text and what else...obviously no text in reply from him.

First off the text was maybe two lines...that I spent 5 minutes trying to "word correctly." I knew I shouldn't be texting him, but the little beer devil on my shoulder told me otherwise. After consultation with my much wiser friend this morning I came to this conclusion...permanently delete his phone number.

So the phone number is gone but the shame remains.

Insufficient Funds

Rock 'n Roll Ralph's is one of my favorite places. Why it's more special than any other Ralph's I don't know but I think everyone else who shops there feels the same way. After spending about 30 minutes in the store trying to figure out what to eat, pausing in the middle of the aisles to text Keith, and a good 10 minutes in the beer aisle trying to figure out what kind to get (ultimately deciding on Shiner Bock referred by my proud Texan friend Keith) I finally headed to the check out stand.

With milk, sushi and beer (I know...30 minutes and that's what I came up with) my total rang in at $22.83. Swiped my debit card and waited for authorization...and then got the dreaded phrase across the screen "Not Authorized." Thinking there was some mistake I went to the ATM and got an even worse message "Insufficient Funds"...ugh!! As a 26 year-old jobless (well full-time PR) girl living in LA during a crappy economy, this is the phrase I fear the most.

Not only is my stomach in knots because I just realized I don't have enough money even for milk, it's so embarrassing to be in the checkout line and have to ask the checker to cancel the sale and put all the food back.

"Hey everyone, look at the pathetic girl in line that can't even buy milk!"

Last night was not pleasant.

Fast forward to this afternoon...I was lucky enough to land a temporary gig this week with a movie production company as an assistant and to take charge of the company's PR. My amazing boss wrote me a check for my hours thus far and an advance on the rest of the week so I could deposit money into my account.

Can I just say how AWESOME it was buying lunch today :) Something so small we often take for granted. Let's just hope this job turns into something permanent so I can buy milk when I need it!

Childhood Dreams

I can't claim to be the only female in Los Angeles stuck in the Hollywood Bubble...for there are many. Proof are these lovely ladies to the left (and to my right in the photo)...none of them are actresses or struggling actresses. One is a dentist, another works for a high class jeweler and another is project manager for an online political non-profit. I'll let you guess which is which.

Don't get me wrong about people out there trying to fulfill their long life dream of becoming an actor. My roommate is a struggling actress, attends acting class weekly and works at a restaurant to pay the bills. I know she wants it...but my bigger question if she wants the profession or the lifestyle?

It is a fun and outrageous lifestyle sometimes - I have celeb friends and have done some pretty amazing things with them...because of them. But I know I could never live my life that way. I want the 9am - 6pm job. I want my weekends free to do errands, go out with friends and watch Sunday football. I want to have a 401K and health insurance. I want security. I want the plan I've had set in my mind since high school...go to college, get a good job, move up the ladder, get married, have kids, and then juggle soccer practices and ballet recitals with a full-time job. I want that challenge.

So what do the actors see as their plan? When do they settle down and have kids? Do they ever settle down and have kids? I have friends in their mid-30s that are still trying to make it - they're single and nothing has changed in their behavior as a member of the male species since they were the horny boys in college. What were their dreams? Their lifelong plan? Partying till the wee hours of the morning, snorting and doing God knows what, starving themselves to ignore that extra 10 pounds the camera adds, and then of course ignoring the big ego they've conjured?

I don't understand it and definitely would never wish for it. But this is the large percentage of people in LA...and one of the ways I'm constantly stuck within this Hollywood Bubble...it's all around me wherever I go. But these lovely ladies (and their handsome career men) allow me to break the bubble if even for a few hours where we sit and talk about a long day at work, the project due on Monday morning and the wedding plans at The London.

Call me what you want but I like being that girl.