The Drunk Text

I really think dating must have been so much easier about 15 years ago. Why? Because technology hadn't invented contraptions for us to act like idiots when we've been drinking. The drunk dial was my worst enemy back in college. And having a boyfriend at Brown when I was in Boston, the late night drunken calls were frequent and the fights ensued. Sure drinking allows us to rid ourselves of our inhibitions and say what we really want to say, but sometimes that's not a good thing. Actually most brilliant ideas when we're drinking are more often than not a horrible idea sober.

But now it's gotten even worse with the birth of Blackberrys and iPhones. Texting is usually the first thing we go for and it's the worst because when we wake up sober we can reread how stupid we've been. The best ones are when you, yourself can't even understand what was written because the drunken fingers have slipped to the wrong keys. I can't even text on an iPhone sober...how the hell are you supposed to manage after a few drinks?

But besides texting we not only also have access to email, but we can Facebook and MySpace from our phones.

DANGER! DANGER!

Can we even cover the amount of humiliation that comes from a drunk Facebook or MySpace post? Not only do you get to reread your foolishness, but so do his 300 friends!! I've done this before and God help me I don't know how many people read it before I got on there the next day and deleted it from his wall.

Instead of making new applications to communicate with people, someone should develop a Drunk Text Prevention application. There should be an option within your address book to group someone into the Drunk Text Prevention category. Then after a certain hour no calls, texts or any sort of communication are allowed with that contact. Genius, right?!

Unfortunately that does not solve drunk texting when day drinking. Oh the joys of day drinking. That's when you need your friends to strip you of your phone and put you back to the Stone Age without any communication. And why is it that afterwards we're all yelling at ourselves that we should have known better. Because we all know that when we're doing it we really shouldn't be.

If you are asking your friends if you should text him, you shouldn't be texting him. If you're trying to reword the text so it doesn't make you sound desperate, you shouldn't be texting him. If he hasn't texted you, you shouldn't be texting him.

This past weekend I've been to more birthday parties than I can remember. And of course alcohol was involved in all. Even the day birthday shenanigans at La Cienega Park. The day drinking impaired my judgment to make me think "Oh he really does want to talk to me so I should go ahead and text him." No he doesn't! So when I awoke from my daytime drinking nap I discovered the text and what else...obviously no text in reply from him.

First off the text was maybe two lines...that I spent 5 minutes trying to "word correctly." I knew I shouldn't be texting him, but the little beer devil on my shoulder told me otherwise. After consultation with my much wiser friend this morning I came to this conclusion...permanently delete his phone number.

So the phone number is gone but the shame remains.